Is the Boyle about to Burst?

He's the love spawn of an illicit manage toi between the Scottish folk rock brothers The Proclaimers and the filthy bear of Bo' Selecta comedy show fame. Yes, I'm talking about the visceral and vitriolic Glaswegian comedian Frankie Boyle of BBC2's show, Mock The Week. His dark humour is always hilarious, frequently cringe worthy and at times extremely close to the bone. So much so that I'm sure each outburst has the arse cheeks of all but the bravest of BBC lawyers well and truly clenched.

However some of his fiery red faced rants are delivered with so much passion and scorn that I do fear for the poor man's well being. Just how many episodes before he explodes like Krakatoa into a never ending tirade of bile, venom and hate? Maybe it's time the BBC does with him as it has done with many well loved but threadbare stars and put Frankie out to pasture in the comparatively sleepy fields of daytime telly? In anticipation I've put together a couple programming suggestions...

The Frankie Boyle Show would be an obvious morning choice. In many respects it would in fact mimic The Jeremy Kyle Show. He'd goad, snipe at, and belittle his cerebrally challenged guests but, and here's the twist, without the thinly veiled pretence at compassion, empathy or emotional support that the slime-ball Kyle claims to offer.

Or how about a literal twist to the show Flog It, this time pandering to Middle England's desire for retributive justice? Boyle could tour the length and breadth of Britain armed with a cat-o-nine-tails, stopping here and there to publicly strip bare then administer a good hard whipping to the local toe rags and ne'er-do-wells.

Last but not least, how about a radical make over of the show Cash in the Attic called Crap in the Attic with a devilishly simple format. Frankie is invited into the homes of those tabloid reading halfwits with an unhealthy infatuation with all things celebrity and... well... with their starry eyed blessing, he craps in their attic!

So Auntie Beeb, I implore you to commission one of the above shows. If not there's a real risk that our beloved Boyle explodes like a puss spewing carbuncle on the bum of the BBC!